Monday, January 23, 2012

Attention Bay Area Sports Fans

Shut up. Get a grip. Seriously. That's a killer loss, and I understand that. Any one of us who has ever been a fan of anyone or anything knows that feeling. It sucks. I get it. However, there is no excuse for ever issuing a death threat or wishing someone or someone's family physical harm over the outcome of a sporting event. Seriously, someone (@javpasquel) tweeted "I hope you, youre wife, kids and family die, you deserve it."

No, sir. You deserve to be taken to task and to have every media outlet from here to Siberia post your Twitter handle, so reasonable human beings can tee off on you and make it crystal clear to you what a piece of shit you actually are. (And what do you know? Looks like it happened, since you no longer have an active Twitter account.) Do us all a favor, and don't come back to social media until you grow up. Also, mix in some research because Kyle Williams is single and has no kids. He might even know the difference between "your" and "you're." Though, to be fair, you used neither. You made one up. Combine that with the impressive comma splice and the aforementioned factual inaccuracy, and you have done an unprecedented job of branding yourself an ignorant fuck. Nicely done!

Kyle Williams is the son of White Sox GM Kenny Williams. Kyle's older brother Kenny Jr. played for the Duluth Huskies, and from what I understand, the fact that he couldn't catch up to Northwoods League fastballs didn't deter him from being a total douche. Good to see he's lighting it up in double-A for daddy's organization. I would be lying if I said I wasn't rooting for the Giants and shouting "Kenny Williams' brother" whenever Kyle showed up on screen. Put those two things together, and it was kind of funny at the how his mistakes had such a central role in the outcome of the game. Call it a guilty pleasure.

But clearly my sense of perspective is all wrong! How dare he rob those poor, suffering SF sports fans of a trip to the Super Bowl that they so richly deserve for doing...oh wait...absolutely nothing! I never played at the professional level, and I don't claim to have a particularly good idea of what professional athletes do in the way of training and work, but I was close enough to big time NCAA athletics to realize that athletes aren't circus animals. We're very well aware of the stakes during games, and have always had (and WILL always have) more invested in the outcome. Period. So, "dear" Bay Area sports fans, save the histrionics because, to quote the immortal Bull Durham, "You don't know shit, meat."

Disclaimer: I have facetiously mused in private conversations to a couple of my friends and family members who are 49ers fans that I hoped Jim Harbaugh got hit by a Muni train. It was a joke. Everyone knows a Muni train would simply break down and never hurt anyone anyway. He didn't know what I said. He wouldn't care anyway. And anyone who knows me, knows that I don't wish death on anyone--even someone as douchey as Jim Harbaugh.

Furthermore, as much as I can't stand him, Harbaugh does deserve a ton of credit for his ability to coach and get his team to buy into the true team concept and culture--no small feat with a bunch of guys getting paid millions of dollars. The way Williams' teammates jumped to his defense and picked him up in the face of it all says way more than all the tears currently filling up the bay. But I guess it's easy to keep perspective when you're not the victim.


  1. Concur. Only a totally ignorant moron would tweet a death threat over the loss of a game--even if Kyle Williams is a scum devil. He owned up to his mistakes and didn't make any excuses.He's moving on and so should all 49ers fans. "Move on folks, there's nothing to see here."