Short Update

Nation is done. One day of work left. SoCal tomorrow night. Foursquare check-in from Cowschwitz coming tomorrow night.

FF Playoff Update - Round 2

And we continue in the semis. And since I know you guys love it, here's some more Jim Mora.

1. Hoya Paranoia

5. Bitzy's Bashers

2. CotonHeadedNinyMugin

3. Probation Nation

QB:

Brady (vs. Packers)

WR:

Johnson (@ Titans)

Fitzgerald (@ Panthers)

Branch (vs. Packers)

RB:

Rice (vs. Saints)

McCoy (@ Giants)

Moreno (@ Raiders)

TE:

Pettigrew (@ Bucs)

K:

Bryant (@ Seahawks)

Def:

Pittsburgh (vs. Jets)

Game Notes:

• Coincidentally neither team has any starter playing on a day other than Sunday. Thursday and Monday night games will have no impact on the outcome this week.
• The NinyMugins lost out on more than 55 points, as Philip Rivers and Vincent Jackson absolutely torched the 49ers Thursday night, combining for three TD passes.
• Pittsburgh's defense will be without its best player (and former Trojan), Troy Polamalu--a fact that will be mitigated only by the fact that it's opponent is (former Trojan), Mark Sanchez, who has developed a bad habit of throwing the ball to the wrong team over the last couple weeks.
• Upon further review, NinyMugin receiver DeSean Jackson is still a huge douche.
• Speaking of douches, Titans CB Cortland Finnegan may get his ass kicked (again) by Nation receiver Andre Johnson resulting in both players getting ejected (again). Just get your numbers first, Dre.
• This is the second round of the playoffs. You kiddin me?!

Fantasy Football Update - Playoffs

It's playoff time for the Engage PR fantasy football season, and as of this writing, Probation Nation is down by 27.26 to the Meanie Mathenys, courtesy of Peyton Manning and the fact that the Tennessee Titans are a dumpster fire. The Nation entered the playoffs as the #3 seed, narrowly missing out to the first week bye. Coincidentally, three of the newest Engage employees are leading the standings. The fourth...well...like a good captain, she went down with her 1-12 ship.

Seedings are as follows:

FIRST ROUND BYE

1. Hoya Paranoia - Molly Reynolds

2. CotonHeadedNinyMugin - Courtney Pecora Courtney Pecora's boyfriend

MATCHUPS

3. Probation Nation - me

6. Meanie Mathenys - Neila Matheny

4. Shake'n'Bake - Suzanne Panoplos

5. Bitzy's Bashers - Jeannette Bitz

So, here you go. In the quarterfinals of the EPR playoffs up against a tough team, with which the Nation split this year, the lineup is:

QB

Brady (vs. Bears)

WR

Johnson (vs. Ravens)

Fitzgerald (vs. Broncos)

Driver (vs. Lions)

RB

Rice (vs. Texans)

McCoy (vs. Cowboys)

Moreno (vs. Cardinals)

TE

Pettigrew (vs. Packers)

K

Bryant (vs. Panthers)

Def

Pittsburgh (vs. Bengals)

PLAYOFFS!

Fantasy Football Update - Week Whatever

I've been bad about updating this, but Probation Nation is 4-2 and awaiting the outcome of Monday Night Football to see if it will be able to escape with a win against a struggling team. If history is any indication, PN will be 4-3 with all three losses coming to the bottom third of the EPR standings.

Ray Rice, my first rounder, has been an absolute abortion this season. He's too good and has too many tools not to break out of it eventually...right? He's been the third best back on my team. Unacceptable. I was projected to get about a 104 points out of my team this week. I didn't even break 70. If not for Knowshon Moreno's garbage touchdowns in a route at the hands of the Raiders (yes...the RAIDERS), my team wouldn't even have broken 50.

I think the most frustrating thing about FF is that I'm used to coaching. You can tweak and make adjustments along the way. Here, you set your lineup and hope for the best. It's complete and utter powerlessness. But I guess you do have control over some things...like drafting Ray Rice.

EPR Fantasy Football - Week 2

So I forgot to post a recap of week one, but Probation Nation took an L (despite a 103+ point output). Bummer.

However, this week, things are looking a little better. Forgot to post my lineup when I set it, but here it is.

QB

Brady

WR

Johnson

Fitzgerald

Driver

Naanee

RB

Rice

McCoy

TE

Shiancoe

K

Vinatieri

D

Pittsburgh

Things I've learned since last week:

- Projections are BS

- The Raiders defense sucks and had NO ANSWER for Chris Johnson

- Life sucks when you are the only dude in the office, and you lose week one of FF

- Life will be infinitely better tomorrow unless Frank Gore goes all Arian Foster on the Saints defense (which I don't see happening) on Monday Night Football.

EPR Fantasy Football - Week 1

With games starting tomorrow evening, the time came for me to set the lineup for Probation Nation, my first venture into the strange world that is fantasy football. Yes, as Benson noted, hell has indeed frozen over. Here's my lineup.

QB
Tom Brady

WR
Andre Johnson
Larry Fitzgerald
Donald Driver

RB
Ray Rice
LeSean McCoy
Jerome Harrison

TE
Visanthe Shiancoe

K
Adam Vinatieri

Defense
Pittsburgh

Yahoo has me projected to drop 97.5 points on my opponent...and lose. This is all very mysterious to me, as I have no idea where the projections come from (or even how the points are calculated), but since it is something that is going on in the office, it's going to be chronicled in the blog. Game one tomorrow night. Let's hope the Saints D gets torched and Shiancoe has like 5 TD receptions.